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Aggie Streetrat
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 27 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 10:59 pm Post subject: Predestination Goes Against the Grain (Fan Fiction) |
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I *just* added my first Aladdin fic to ff.net and I was hoping that some of you could read and review the Prologue. I bring in a new character.. well.. kind of.. I'll explain it before I post the first chapter. Hehehe. Anyways, please read! ^^
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2015753/1/ |
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Cyber Ghost Streetrat
Joined: 12 Aug 2004 Posts: 7 Location: California
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 12:50 am Post subject: |
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You know, I keep jumping into these fan fics ready to tear them apart, and twice now you guys have impressed me.
Aggie, you writing is terriffic! My only concern is the dialogue, but without being able to listen to the characters speak, it makes it hard.. even so, it was very close to what I would have expected out of an episode.
Be careful with the use of a fan character. Far too often the creation of fan chars draw too much away from the story itself.
Wow, okay, so Chaos really was only in one episode..must have lost track, I could have sworn there were two! Man, too bad, he was a fun character.
Anywho, I look forward to seeing what you do with this story. _________________ "I could have run away, but Noo! I'm the good guy." |
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Aggie Streetrat
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 27 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 8:39 am Post subject: |
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Thank you very much Cyber Ghost for reading the Prologue and giving me constructive criticism. Yes, I do have trouble with dialogue sometimes but I'm doing my best to improve on that.
I cannot remember if Chaos was in one or two episodes.. this is probably due to the fact that I haven't seen the series in many years (all that changes on Monday! muahaha!) but either way I still felt that there wasn't enough of him in the series so it's one of the main reasons I started the fic. Hehehe.
Anyways, thanks again for the advice; I will keep it in mind. |
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Salukfan Tiger-Clawed Thief
Joined: 18 Jul 2004 Posts: 1991 Location: Butler, PA
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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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I cannot remember if Chaos was in one or two episodes.. this is probably due to the fact that I haven't seen the series in many years (all that changes on Monday! muahaha!) |
Chaos only had the episode of When Chaos Comes Calling, no other. _________________ "This cow's been covered with flour!" |
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Calluna Genie of the Messageboard
Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Posts: 3692 Location: Where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain.
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 8:18 am Post subject: |
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The dialogue thing, I think that's pretty subtle... I only noticed anything with Iago and Aladdin, and they just sounded a little too formal, I guess. Like Aladdin would use more contractions. I feel like I'm splitting hairs, though. I like your writing style, though, and unlike most people at ff.net you actually know how to spell and punctuate and format correctly. So, yeah, I want to see what happens.
And, yeah, I just want to echo what Cyber Ghost said about OCs. The biggest mistake I usually see with OC stories is that the whole fic is just introducing the new character with not really any other plot, and the fic just keeps going on and on until the author runs out of ideas, without a real ending. So I guess my advice would be to plan ahead, if you haven't already. |
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Aggie Streetrat
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 27 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 8:57 am Post subject: |
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Thank you Calluna. ^^ Fortunately, I have planned ahead a main plot that involves every character already mentioned so far (plus Chaos who hasn't been put in yet). Chapter 1 is technically complete, but I have quite a bit of cutting and editing to make it works grammatically (I swear, my grammar on first drafts are awful!) and with the story as well. Anyways, thank you all for reading my prologue so far. Chapter 1 is on its way! ^^
P.S. Thanks for the contractions note. That really does make sense (for both Aladdin AND Iago). Hehe. _________________ Careful, kitten! I might think you don't want me here.
-Chaos |
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Aggie Streetrat
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 27 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2004 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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Just wanted to say that Chapter 2 of 'Predestination Goes Against the Grain' is up! ^^ _________________ Careful, kitten! I might think you don't want me here.
-Chaos |
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Aggie Streetrat
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 27 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:23 pm Post subject: |
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2015753/1/
Chapter 3 is finally up!! Hehe..
Oh, and if you're interested, I have a page that has a few sketches and pics of my fan character, Fate:
http://impmon.hostars.com/fate.htm
Enjoy!
P.S. Happy Halloween!! _________________ Careful, kitten! I might think you don't want me here.
-Chaos |
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Nez Eccentric Papyrus Jockey
Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 2617 Location: Bellevue, Ne
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Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2004 8:20 am Post subject: |
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OMIGOD! SHE'S SO CUTE!
*squeezes Fate* _________________
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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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Good story! Fate sounds really cool! Can't wait till the next chapter keep up the good work! |
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Princess Lydia Elemental
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 679
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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Are you going to be writting more in your fanfic??? |
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Aggie Streetrat
Joined: 16 Aug 2004 Posts: 27 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 10:03 pm Post subject: |
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Hehe, sorry about the long wait. Chapter 4 is currently being written, but it won't be up until some time in the winter holidays.. once I get school out of the way temporarily.. heh. ^^; _________________ Careful, kitten! I might think you don't want me here.
-Chaos |
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